The Story by Baby Abhaya by Beverly -  Fall 2011

Another baby destined for the rubbish pile

by Beverly Bronson on Saturday, September 17, 2011

Today Dev Kala, one of our staff members, came rushing into the house saying Mummy Mummy, come quickly. You must help! She took me to a small room where there was a two day old baby girl and mother with two older children sleeping on the floor in a tiny room. The mother gave birth in the room and has not seen a doctor. She planned to throw the baby away today and go back to her village. I have promised help but all she wants to do is throw/give away her baby. I am checking with my lawyer whether or not we can take her into our home. The state orphanage has stopped taking in new children. The baby needs to be seen by a doctor, but the mother refuses to take her to the hospital. Baby was naked, wrapped in a shawl. She has an eye infection and is not eating. Mother is trying to feed the baby cold milk with a spoon out of a cup. I insisted the mother put baby to breast for the colostrum telling her I would not take her if she didn’t. I bought some meat and milk for the mother, and eye medicine and bottle for the baby and promised to return tomorrow.

 

How can I take more kids when I am struggling to support the ones I have? How can I leave her there to be thrown on the rubbish pile on the mother's way out of town. Tragic, when there are so many people wanting to adopt and so many babies thrown away and left to die.

 

Baby rescue is in progress. We have the baby and had her checked out at the hospital - she weighs 3.1kg. Just now there was an earthquake here. We are all OK.

 

Baby Ghar Sita Mutu

Sunday, September 18, 2011

What a night! It is 6.30 am and guess who is sleeping like a baby - not me, for sure. I wonder if our new baby slept better in her pile of rags on the floor of that dirty room–she certainly didn't sleep much last night here in her warm clean blankets and her too large clothes. We went to pick up the baby yesterday morning (still no name decided) and took her straight to the hospital. Can you imagine walking into a hospital with a naked baby wrapped in rags, dried blood all over her and eyes shut tight with pus. Believe it or not the doctor declared her healthy, weighing 3.1 kg. They gave her a BCG shot (TB) and after I asked them to they bathed her eyes and sent us home.

 

We brought the mother to our home too but she hasn’t changed her mind and shows no interest in her baby. We had to bring her to prevent her from running away because we needed her to sign the papers in front of witnesses.

 

Meanwhile, an earthquake of 6.8 with 130 aftershocks occurred! But, back to the story. Our lawyer was drawing up the papers for the mother and the witnesses to sign, and Rajina our house manager left to pick up the three witnesses we need. The mother’s name is Bina, 24 yars old, and she says she is getting married soon and obviously the new man does not want her baby. She is divorced from a man in the army living abroad and receives a portion of his salary every month - so she was not even as desperate as we thought at first. She just doesn’t want another baby. Discarding babies here in Nepal is a fairly common practice. Most mothers who do this though, feel they cannot take care of a baby - as opposed to will not.

 

Unfortunately for those of you who have asked, we are not an organization that is allowed to put children up for adoption. The Nepali government doesn't let parents choose their babies anyway, and they are assigned at random. We do however look for sponsors for our children, and those sponsors receive photographs, updates and drawings/letters from their children. And of course they are welcome to visit us here. A big thank you to those of you who have offered financial help at this crucial time. I really appreciate your kindness. Will keep you posted and let you know when we have decided on a name for Baby GSM.

 

BABY GSM is officially ours

Monday, September 19, 2011

Bina left without a backward glance. The owner of the house where she was staying and another neighbor came to be witnesses. He was very angry with her. He told us she gave birth in the outside toilet and then tried to kill the baby. At that time he told her that if the baby died he would report her to the police so actually he is responsible for saving the baby’ s life.

 

My friend Mike suggested the name Ananta – a Hindu word for the snake god with a thousand heads. When he moves his head, an earthquake happens. Quite approprite as the earthquake happened two hours after she arrived here. I like the name but it didn’t go over well with the rest of the family. . For one it is a boys name with no female equivalent – I liked Ananta – and also Ananti (my female version of it), but as it is not a real name meaning anything the consensus was no.

 

For now Baby GSM will suffice. She is still sleeping peacefully and I fear she will be one of those babies that sleeps all day, when I cannot, and stays awake all night, when I cannot. Are there any new mothers out there with any hints for me? She took 5 bottles last night, drinking about 30 – 40 ml formula. After 20 minutes she cried a lot, possibly wind, and then lay there staring at me. The internet has gone caput as I write this, and now I am going to take a nap while I can.

 

Third Night

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The night is off to a bad start. After sleeping peacefully all day and not fussing at all, the situation has changed. Baby (we think we are naming her Abhaya Kalyani) was fast asleep at 7.30 and I had to wake her for her milk as she is supposed to eat every two hours and three had already gone by since her last feed. Then she fussed and fussed till 9.30 - wide awake. 10 to 3 - she just fell asleep but not very soundly. Shall I bother to go to bed? I will wait ten minutes to see if she stays asleep. Because it’s too hard if I fall asleep. She’s crying again. probably because she has a cold. Fed her three times now. I am shushing in her ear as recommended, swaddled her, burped her, changed her again. What else? Got to go. We are up and down many more times. Thanks for all the suggestions and offers of help everyone. Hope it will get easier. I was really nervous that something was badly wrong with her.

 

Abhaya Kalyani Tamang - day 4

(Abhaya means Fearless, Kalyani means protected)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Now it is 8 pm and Abhaya is sleeping peacefully and had a good day with no stomach pains or crying. Abhaya survived her birth in a 2 x 2 ft toilet, and a murder attempt from her mother, so it is not surprising that she might be a bit traumatized and unable to sleep at night.

 

I went out to find some baby clothes and supplies today – Dev Kala has made some, and we cut up a blanket to make some smaller ones for her. While I was in the store today talking about getting a newborn baby, a German lady named Natalie overheard me and said she had four big cartons of super German Hypo allergenic formula she didn’t need. Cheeky gal that I am I also asked if she had any baby clothes and she put some together for me so we are set for a while.

 

Thanks to Kyla and Matt who are sending some more clothes and supplies and my sister Georgie who is sending from the UK. Looks like we will be fine for a while. Off to bed now. I'm ready.

 

ABHAYA KALYANI – DAY 6

Abhaya enjoyed the new formula and is now up to 90 ml. She has been sleeping most of the day. We gave her an oil massage outside (common practice here) and "roasted"her for a while in the early morning sun. This makes the bones stronger, and the sun helps prevent jaundice. Last night she was up from midnight to 3 and then slept . Let's hope she is good for me tonight. Thanks to everyone who sent suggestions.

 

One week old today. Abhaya looks happy and contented, eating well, and eye infection is clearing up. When we first got her she was gulping the formula because she did not nurse for the first two days as mother was trying to feed her milk with a spoon! Now she is eating in a more ladylike manner. Sleeping slightly better at night but still awake from midnight to three pm.

 

DAY EIGHT

Dr. Shrestha, who came for the Health camp checked the baby and said she seems to be strong and healthy. That’s a relief.

 

If you’d like to see lovely photos from the baby’s naming ceremony and receive our other news updates:

 

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Born in a toilet I survived a murder attempt by my mother, was not fed for two days and slept on the floor.

This is my mother Bina talking to my new mummy Beverly

On the day I arrived at GSM there was a big earthquake and the smaller girls all slept downstairs. Here my new mummy is singing to them.

 

Nice! Clean clothes after a warm wash.

 

Some of my new adoring sisters, waiting for me to wake up.

 

Not sure I like my oil bath, day 4.

 

 

But then I get to sleep again.

Day 6. Feeling pretty good.

I love my sari but I’m not sure if I am wearing it correctly?